You ever meet someone that you know for certain that their heart is bigger than life itself, that they display so much love for others that you often wonder how on Earth they can manage to carry so much feeling within them?  I’ve had the privilege of knowing many people such as this, and each time I am in admiration of their devotion to others because love just bursts out of them in buckets, never wavering and never seeming to slow down.  And then, death occurs and all bets are off the table.  Death literally makes you feel as though your heart is being squeezed within someone’s fist and you find it difficult to breathe or comprehend what is happening.

And then, something unfamiliar happens- the tears.  Tears start arriving uncontrollably and this creates so much shame and unsolicited apologies from those who are not used to sharing their feelings.  For some reason, we are quick to wipe away those tears or do anything we can to stave them off, even shutting down our emotions completely (if possible) in order to simply survive to see the next day.  However, what many don’t understand is that tears are the safety valve to our heart.  In allowing our tears, our heart remains healthy and the flow of those feelings is a release that is often needed when processing our grief.  Whoever stated that tears were signs of weakness simply received the wrong message while growing up.  In fact, tears are actually a sign of strength, and finding ways to stay in touch with our emotions when we are experiencing the death of a loved one, is essential in achieving healing.

No, I am not saying that if you never cry that you won’t heal or move forward in your journey- remember, each one of us grieves differently.  But what I am saying is that tears are allowed and not only are they allowed, but there is no limit on how much we need to shed.  Why?  Because it makes us feel better to release that emotion, to dig deep into our hearts and bring forward the hurt and pain that is harbored there and share it with others.  The heart is a powerful and fascinating organ, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t use our help in dispersing those emotions, thus allowing it to perform some of its other functions without so much grief to wade through.  So, when you are experiencing the pain of grief, keep in mind that your heart has a safety valve and that we need to open it up from time to time.  Release those tears, and with them, release the flow of your loss and allow your heart to beat unencumbered and free.  It doesn’t always take a physician to tell you what is best for your health, and believe me, the heart will certainly let you know.