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Here are a few fashion facts for the aged

My cousin who resides in Atlanta keeps reminding me that we who live in the sticks are violating all the principles of respectful aging. Evidently, in the upscale metropolis of Atlanta, the aging process is more sophisticated than for the residents down the Chattahoochee. This came to mind as I recently discussed “nit picking” and being “petty.”

I vehemently disagree with some of the “No No’s” on her list of dress codes for the “used up” and “over-the-hillers.”  She sent me a petty list of clothing, accessories and surgical procedures that are not socially acceptable to the city dwellers.

1. A nose ring and bifocals are not acceptable. I agree as nose rings are not chic regardless of who has a hole punched through his nostril. But, what is wrong with bifocals?

2. Spiked hair and bald spots are not “in.” I agree on the spiked hair but I believe bald is better than a wig.

3. A pierced tongue and dentures are a problem. Not a problem if you keep your mouth shut! However, for the life me, I do not understand why anyone would punch a hole in their tongue.

4. Ankle bracelets and corn pads are not compatible. Nuts! If you wear shoes and socks, where is the problem?

5. Miniskirts and support hose are not fashionable. Miniskirts are against standards of decency regardless of whether or not you wear support hose.

6. A belly button and gall bladder scar should be covered. I guess one could not wear a bathing suit unless it covers up the scars. The worst offense is a pierced belly button. Come on, who in his right mind would want to pierce his belly button?

7. Unbuttoned disco shirt and a heart monitor violate dress codes. Why would one be ashamed of having to use a heart monitor?

8. Midriff shorts and a midriff bulge is unfashionable. The gut is going to bulge whether you cover it or not.

9. Bikinis and liver spots are mutually exclusive. Well Miss Social Police, some millennials have liver spots.

10. Short shorts and varicose veins are unacceptable. Come on now, that would keep most of the older generation from enjoying the pleasures of sun bathing. As for me, I do not wear shorts as my legs look like corn stalks. My daughter has a nickname for me—Sugar Legs.

Regardless of my aged viewpoint, I know that people who wear nose rings, pierce their tongues or cover their bodies with tattoos have the right to do so. Although most people think it is uncouth, the ones who practice these social oddities have their own point of view. Their rebuttal has a ring of truth because most women pierce their ears and no one thinks that is offensive.  They either want to bring attention to themselves, send a social message or they feel that it boosts their feelings of self-confidence. But I wonder if those who have multiple piercings or ink question their decisions later in life as their bodies age and sag.  How many of you regret some rash decisions of your youth?

We all wish that we had perfect bodies, be good looking, be socially acceptable and retain our perfection while aging. However, the truth is that most of us will lose hair, turn gray, be flabby, have yellow teeth, hold on to the rail when going up and down the stairs, be somewhat humped over and be forgetful. Trouble is the group that has not reached this stage of life do not understand. If you haven’t been there and done that, you would not understand.

And the GOOD BOOK says we are all to love one another, whether pierced or withered in age.