Rediscovering Confidence after Death

Published 6:16 pm Monday, August 6, 2018

Time and time again, I am listening to questions posed about whether or not it is normal to lose confidence in oneself after the death of a loved one.  For many, that may sound strange; however it is a reality that countless amounts of people face which adds to the dilemma of how to navigate through ones grief journey.  Things you once felt secure about, activities you once engaged in become adversaries that you least expected to face while grieving and yet, they pop up and create conflict of emotions and impact decision making.

Please listen when I state that it is absolutely normal to feel hesitant, to second guess.  Grief affects us in so many different ways and so it should be noted that you are not alone in feeling discouraged, harnessed, paralyzed or even afraid.  Think about it.  Before the loss of your loved one, you had a significant rock to guide and support you along the way.  At the time, you may not have required an opinion or advice, but just knowing they were there, that they were available if needed was the security that allowed you to jump full steam ahead into life.  Now, their absence creates holes that feel too deep to crawl out of and the reassuring feeling of their presence beside you can cause trepidation and doubt.

Believe in yourself.  Believe in your capability to approach life with a new frame of mind and know that you are capable of anything.  Don’t allow grief to drag you under and crush your ability to live fully and authentically and please attempt to try new things that might bring you joy.  Seems like I have always heard growing up that it is better to try and fail than to never try at all because what if you succeed?  With grief, it seems as if we are always weighing our options and trying to find our way through the muck and the overwhelming pain that constantly threatens to pull us under.  Grief can cause fragility and make us feel broken, which is a direct causation as to why we tend to lose confidence.

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Here is the positive news.  Confidence comes back.  Hope arrives like a herd of stallions racing through a field and lets us know that we are emerging from the darkness that has gripped us for so long. 

Soon, we have an outlook on life that is filled with clarity and direction and we find ourselves looking back at the times that we were uncertain and afraid with grateful hearts that we have moved forward and embraced our reemerging confidence.  Keep moving.  Nurture the belief you have in yourself and go gently into the next stage of your life with the confidence of knowing that you are not only capable,
but that you are going to make it.