Filush-Glaze: The light we lost

Published 4:10 pm Monday, July 15, 2019

Jenny Filush-Glaze
Grief Relief

Have you ever felt like you were walking through life in the dark or have been surrounded by shadows?

Many people who are grieving describe their lives in this way, or better yet, “the absence of light” after experiencing the death of their loved one. Yes, the sun still rises every morning and shines brightly. However, when grieving, it is almost impossible to feel the warmth of those rays and there is little to no comfort found in that brilliant light.

However, grief isn’t all darkness and despair. There are times in which life appears to offer small glimpses of hope again and that is confirmed when absorbing the sun upon their skin, a simple reminder that they are alive and surviving. But then, guilt tends to wash over any progress made and darkness settles in once more.

The thing is, the love that we hold for others, those pieces of our heart that have unfairly been torn from our being when death occurs, doesn’t disappear in death, but it does appear to make our life “less bright.”

We wander aimlessly, lost and confused, desperate for a sign or some type of beacon that will re-emerge and show us the way, but for many, that light remains lost, an absence that seems unsurmountable.

Truthfully, love is light. Love makes everything appear brighter and fills our souls with happiness. We come to depend on it, crave it, need it in our lives, so when the physical aspect of that love disappears, we sometimes find ourselves disappearing along with it. To those around us who have not experienced the pain of “losing their light”, please try to be understanding of the grief journey people are facing. Because we have loved, we have come to know and appreciate “the light.”

It becomes a part of who were are and helps shape us into the person we are today, which is why so many people become “lost” while grieving- because they “just don’t know who they are anymore.” What I can share with you is that some aspect of the light does return- not in the shape of the person who has died, but in returning your ability to survive the “darkest days” as well as returning the strength you need to keep placing one foot in front of the other. In time, we begin to alter our thinking patterns and instead of feeling the absence of their light, we start using the “gift” of their light to continue to guide us towards our renewed hope and healing.

After all, the light of their love is never lost forever because it continues to reside within us, an honored symbol of the bond shared together, thus becoming once again, the light we have “found.”